Lessons in Victory

Musings of a young Christian and Conservative

Early Morning Musings

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We live in an age of specialization.  We categorize things, and then subcategorize them before putting them into even further dichotomized groups.  What of us who are good at a lot of things, but not great at anything?  The gap between good and great is ever-widening, and an emphasis on specialization in our society has taken full control of every one of our lives.  There is no longer a niche for “Renaissance Men;” people of many talents who enjoy delving into many different areas.  I would consider myself one of these people.  Being forced to choose is an uncomfortable, and even disheartening thought.

I feel like I have to choose; medicine or business, journalism or education.  I could of course teach a class on hospital administration while contributing to the field’s peer-reviewed journal, but it all seems very shallow after all that divvying up of the soul.  It makes it hard for one such as myself to discover purpose.

Being in a state of challenged faith and spiritual apathy doesn’t help.  A sort of spiritual static seems to cloud the soul of many a college student; whether it be the overwhelming sense of independence, the new ideas we are exposed to, or simply the passage of time.  I’ve noticed it is especially difficult for students who have been involved in a faith tradition from the cradle; we are challenged to continue to live in faith exactly as we have for the first 18 years of our lives, but when we are suddenly forced to do so on our own, we fail.  I still yearn for spiritual “grooming” from my mentors I’ve had growing up; wonderful people who expressed a plethora of diverse ideas which helped me create a solid faith foundation upon which I would go about the rest of my life.  I have since learned that even when you have a firm foundation, it’s difficult getting the building off the ground sometimes.

I continue to struggle to find significance.  I am sickened with the actions of our current government yet feel utterly powerless in the facilitation of change.  I could sit here and wax eloquent about America and how her people are strong and her days numbered, but it wouldn’t do anything; I could write a poem about the love of my life, but the words only inspire memories; fire synapses like fireworks bursting in the reflection of your eyes.  I feel like words, though my greatest weapon; my one true vessel for expressing my very being, are limited by my own frustrations of purpose.  In a nod to Fight Club, we have moved on from a society of listeners to a society of those who simply wait for their turn to speak.

Call me a cynic, but I am, by definition, by creation, the eternal optimist; one who sees the world through rose-colored glasses.  I am guided by the Spirit, though not always incredibly apparent even to myself.  While I have not found specific purpose, I believe that it is waiting for me, cloaked in the ever-present, yet rarely obvious glory of God.  There are parades in heaven whenever someone says something like that, and I intend to keep it that way.  I believe tough times like this bring out the best in everyone, and we all return to our roots; we cling dearly to the people we care about most, and we further define who we are.  It is my sincere hope I can come to terms with whatever definition for myself that I develop.


Written by jakehutchison

November 22, 2009 at 8:44 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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